The Gingerdead Man Review

Movie: The Gingerdead Man
By: The Big Dead Guy
Date: December 23, 2011

Out of the oven... and into your heart!

Since halfway the nineties the horror genre wasn't really at the top of it's game anymore. With movies like Scream (1996), I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) and more of the Thriller genre, the old school fictional horror wasn't a genre where Hollywood saw a great deal in, which resulted in low-budget horrible movies like the one I am going to review today: The Gingerdead Man (2005)

The movie starts out in a diner where our main bad guy of the movie, Milliard Findlemeyer (played by Garey Busey) is robbing the place and shooting up the place. In this scene there is also a happy family with a father who has no sense of normal thinking and tries to be the hero. Off course he gets shot, next up is the son who is trying to see if his father is still alive but off course, he gets shot as well.. The only survivor in this is the sister, who he spares.

We skip ahead of time when we see the sister (played by Robin Sydney) a few years later working in a bakery. She receives a package with special grandma's gingerbread seasoning on the same day her brother would have turned 18. Her colleague Brick (played by Jonathan Chase) is obsessed with professional wrestling. The next scene is probably the worst and somewhat funniest scene in the movie.. Brick somehow cuts his arm on something an literally puts his bleeding arm over the batter which they were working on.. I am not even kidding you, apparently the bakery and the workers have never ever heard of hygiene nor logical thinking for that matter..

Also in this movie is the mother (played by Margaret Blye) , who has been drinking over the years since her husband and son passed away and is now single handed rioting against the owner of the big bad retail bakery across the street (played by Larry Cedar) .. What this all has to do with the movie? I don't know and quite frankly I don't really care, I've been into this movie for 20 minutes and I already want this shitnugget of a movie to be over.. The only thing I can relate to the movie yet are just random shots of the batter forming a hand..

Another thing that really pisses the shit out of me is the constant bad dialogue, the sisters constant wining and me not being able to understand what she is saying.. Back to the story, meanwhile she has created a gingerbread man out of the batter, a few incredibly bad scenes take place and horrible acting performances, and out comes the Gingerdead man.. To describe the Gingerdead man is almost like combining a molten Christmas ornament with one of the Muppet rejects.. The Gingerdead man gets away and starts a spree of awkward scenes and more bad acting..

The mother gets confronted by the gingerbread man, who slices her finger of with a steak knife.. Again, I'm not kidding.. He uses the power of bad puns to knock out another bakery colleague and then starts stalking the survivors.. Convienently one of the survivors is wearing a gun (which he just realized I guess?).. After that more lameness and bad acting, and the director even has the nerve to put in a romantic plot in there. Again, this has NOTHING to do with the story and this has NOTHING to do with the Gingerdead man.. They are actually hitting on each other while a decorated cookie is on the loose to kill them.. WHY?!? BECAUSE THIS SHITSTAIN OF A MOVIE DIDN'T MAKE SENSE TO BEGIN WITH!

The following victims are randomized and there are plot holes all over.. I am actually waiting for a horror cliche but even that is just too much to ask.. It's all cliche alright, but take out the gruesome murders and it's basically any late 90's romantic comedy.. To sum it all up? -Bad casting-Horrible acting -Worthless 'special' effect -Lame story.

The only good thing about this movie is that it gave me a few laughs here and there.. If they were indented by the director for me to laugh at them? I don't know, but that's the only thing that got this movie any respect or creditability.. The other positive thing I can say about this movie is that it only lasts 60 minutes, which saves you a lot of wasted time.. I also found out there's a part 2 and a part 3 (I actually couldn't believe they could get investors to put money in this ass of a movie, better yet part 2 and 3).. The best thing to do with this movie? Dunk it in milk and eat it.. Believe me, that's the easy way out..