Movie: Piranha 3DD
By: Tony Pulp
Date: June 10, 2012
ugust 2010... something was in the water. Highly acclaimed French director Alexandre Aja cleared the gab between mainstream and pulp by combining a high production value and over the top bloodshed, mixed with the vibe of a sensational, sun overloaded party in and around Lake Victoria. It wasn't long before the inevitable sequel was announced. The mastermind behind the Feast trilogy, John Gulager, had the honor to spend his summer in an adult water park, surrounded by babes, piranhas and yes... The Hoff. Game on!
A year after the events at Lake Victoria, the pre/historic school of blood/thirsty piranhas make their way into a newly opened water park. New and familiar faces will make their appearance in the never ending horror that lies beneath. The fact that this sequel is build all around it's b-star cast is definitely something worth discussing. Danielle Panabaker plays the same part as she always does, pretty uptight and the typical boring and most of all predictable nagger. She has one purpose and that's to block David Koechner (Chet) in his unconventional ways. Which is, honestly, a really fun performance by the sidekick comedy actor.
Christopher Lloyd is a perfect example of type casting and one of the many returning cast members. Much like the first one; it's not really funny, but he has a great face for these sort of roles. Luckily, the most fun has yet to come. Halfway through the movie Paul Scheer, with the iconic sun lotion nose, is paying a visit to the water park to help Ving Rhames overcome his fear of the water since his horrible accident during the attack on the lake. This scene is one of the highlights thanks to Rhames and his incredibly sharp delivery.
Gulager made some tiny adjustments that will serve the actual pulp-crowd well, but the fans of the first will be less enthusiastic when they are faced with the work of a director who doesn't redefine the genre but exploits it. It is in the very first scene that we are treated with Gary Busey imitating Ozzy Osbourne, now that's a way to kick off your film. In all fairness, I enjoyed Aja's adaptation of the 1978 classic as most of the horror audience did, but there's nothing more satisfying than actual mature content and simplistic humor.
Sure, Aja decided to have a Piranha swallow a dick, but 3DD has its own dick-scene and it's a lot less sophisticated, if that could even be the case. He built an entire scene around it, dropping some hilarious and silly lines along the way, delivered by one of the best horror chicks around: Katrina Bowden. A true, classic horror beauty with an amazing sense of humor and she really knows how to present herself. The most important part of a one-liner is the timing and she has it all figured out. Though, the explicit dick gobbling isn't that surprising if you're familiar with the Feast trilogy. It can get worse.
There's a decent amount of no nonsense nudity, revealing slow motion and even some brutally devoured children. How could this get any better? Oh wait, I know. Have we forgotten about The Hoff? A man who made his living with just two big hits and after that he only remained in the picture by mocking himself about it. Anaconda 3...'nuff said. It's a predictable yet hilarious performance and all the joking aside...he really is one of the high lights, so definitely credits for him. It reminded me of his part in the MTV show 'The Roast'... if only it were held in a water park. The humor is childish, the gore is polished and crazy (not the same quantity as the first), plus the location has that amazing summer vibe I was looking for. Eye candy galore, nothing more and nothing less. I won't surprise anyone by concluding that Piranha 3DD is a must see for the fans of the first, but, it comes with a bit of a warning. Although the ingredients are the same... the sauce is different. Now lets all get wet!
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